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Success Story (my girlfriend) :-)


Posted by GreenLine , Nov 22,2008,10:41 Post Reply    Forum
I stumbled across this site about a year and a half ago after I had finally understood, accepted, and embraced the fact that I had/have a smoking fetish. I visited it daily for a while and even posted a few times asking the typical new guy questions such as “How do I get my girlfriend to join in on my smoking fetish?” Like many of you, this is a question that frequently ran through my head. Not only that, I often wondered to myself, would she be accepting of my fetish or would it freak her out and end my relationship? How can I even come out to her about it, and could I ever get her to partake in the fetish? One of the major draws of this site for me was the advice and success stories people had shared with me (and others). So now it is only fitting that I share with you my success story in hopes that it gives you motivation and guidance with your inevitable daily ponderings.
So who am I? I am a 27 year-old male, non-smoker, with a smoking fetish. I’m a typical guy by all “normal” standards. My girlfriend of over 6 years now, is also 27 and also a non-smoker. In fact neither of us drink alcohol either, and many people have labeled us as “straight-edge”, although that is hardly the case. We both have more adult movies on our computers than your local adult video store. Nonetheless, these circumstances created an environment where smoking rarely came up in conversation in our lives. We don’t go to bars often, and we have few if any friends who smoke in the first place. Now we aren’t against smoking in general, but I just want to set the scene to give you an idea what “obstacles” I was facing here.
Now we have a great relationship that allows us to openly communicate and express ourselves. That helps. If you don’t have that yet, I suggest squaring that away before opening up to your significant other about secret fetishes. Moving on, my girlfriend already had the propensity to appreciate the sexiness and lure of women smoking. A few times over the course of 6 years she had briefly mentioned she felt that way in conversation to me. So I had that going for me. However, I was the complete opposite about the subject. Both my parents smoked throughout my childhood, causing me to hate everything about smoking in general. Hence my confusion in the first place with my fetish: I loved it just as much as I hated it. So the few times she brought that up, I quickly dismissed it saying, “No, smoking is not sexy. It is disgusting.” I still feel that way, however from the fetish perspective, I was lying, embarrassed, and in denial.
So how did someone in my situation, come to the point where I am now writing a success story? Well, it came down to personal confidence in myself, and a desire to achieve my sexual goals in my relationship. I knew the fetish wasn’t going away, and I knew I didn’t want to suppress it. So I realized I had to tell her somehow at some point because knew I wouldn’t be happy in the long-term sexually if I didn’t. Why would I want to be with someone if one of the major aspects of my sexual personality couldn’t express itself? So here’s how I did it.
One afternoon while on a day trip together, I randomly told her that I had a dream about her smoking. I described a scene where her and I had gone on a date, and after our meal when we stepped outside, she had lit up a cigarette. I told her that the weird thing was that for some reason I found it incredibly sexy. And the rest of dream I remember just watching her smoke in awe. Now, this was technically a lie. I didn’t have that specific dream the night before, although fantasies similar to that have come to mind. But I had utilized an uncontrollable subconscious event to simply suggest to her that smoking was indeed sexy. This helped me gage her reaction to it and bring up the topic in the first place. If she found it weird and off-putting, then I could just as easily react the same way and dismiss the dream myself. If she thought otherwise, then we could talk more about it and it could open the door to more in the future.
When I told her this story, she chuckled and said, “She, you never know what turns you on unless you try” (or something of that nature—it was 18 months ago). To calm my slight uneasiness, she reviewed with me her slight fetishes (nothing out of the ordinary and nothing I didn’t already know). The conversation was only about a minute long, and we didn’t bring it up again the whole day. But the event gave me the confidence that she would be accepting of me if I did have a smoking fetish. Not that I didn’t assume this anyway, but I needed that confidence. I was dying to just gush to her everything after that, but I knew I needed to take it slow or it all might seem too conspicuous, pushy, or freakish.
So about 2 months later when her and I were on another trip together, actually our anniversary, I brought the topic up again. We were in a hotel and actually messing around getting somewhat hot and heavy. She was wearing hot lingerie and already in the “pleasing my man” mood. I took advantage of this and suggested at random that she pretend to smoke. She chuckled a little, but did so, bringing her fingers to her lips and pretending there was a cigarette between them. This obviously turned me on, and I told her so (and showed her so if you know what I mean). I summed up the event later by saying that I was amazed at how sexy she was when she pretended to smoke, still acting as if it were new to me.
A few months after that, while on a long vacation, I formally brought up the topic of how smoking was sexy. I told her I had been thinking about it off and on since and even had a few more dreams about her. I told her I was surprised how I could view smoking as extremely sexy despite my past opinions on the matter. I also told her that anytime she wanted to pretend to smoke again that I was all for it! I think having these conversations while away on casual or intimate trips together helped me open up to her and share my deepest feelings. It set an environment without external criticism or potential for inhibitions. Similar to how it felt easier to misbehave as a kid when on a field trip.
During this more in depth conversation she had shared a personal story of how as a kid she would jump through the smoke when an older family member was smoking. She also told of a more recent time when she pretended to smoke for an extended period of time with a real (unlit) cigarette. It had taken place one afternoon when home alone one day and a sibling had left some cigarettes at the house. Still, she has never actually tried smoking, but this made it obvious to me that she was not only intrigued with smoking, but also did not have any qualms about pretending to smoke in general (especially with real cigarettes). With this information, I knew I had some real potential, but still cautioned myself to take it slow. Just like with [back-door] sex, you don’t just want to pop it in all the sudden one day shouting, “Surprise!”
So over the next year I would bring it up every now and then, asking her to pretend to smoke when we would be messing around. It came up in conversation more often, too, whenever someone in a movie or tv show was smoking. But still, I knew I would have to find a way to make it come up often enough to take it to the next level. We eventually joked about it and ended up buying some fake bubblegum cigarettes from Urban Outfitters. These sat in her room on her desk for the next 9 months (they are still there), allowing her to casually pretend to smoke for me much more often. Little did she know it was making me crazy horny. But as time went on, I admitted it to her more and more how much it turned me on. A few times when I had my camera around, I got some footage and pictures of her pretending to smoke. She was at the point now where she liked pretending for me and turning me on. It was fun for her, too. I felt free to tell her how much it turned me on and she knew that I would be adding these videos to my spank bank and making withdrawals often (pardon my immature puns and diction).
Now, fast forward to present time. In about a month from now, my girlfriend will be taking a two-month long trip for school out of the country. Due to the remoteness of where she will be, email and phone (and obviously sex) will be impossible. Sounds, crazy, but it’s fact. So I thought of an idea to help take my smoking fetish to the next level. I told her that the only Christmas gift I wanted from her (and it should be viewed more as a gift to keep me busy and occupied while she is gone) was to make a compilation of videos of her dressing up in various sexy outfits and doing sexy things. On this list of videos, I requested she pretend to smoke at some point in each video and that in one of the videos, she simply holds a lit cigarette.
I assumed she would feel bad for saying no to this going away request of mine. I assumed right. I knew I was pushing a little bit by asking her to hold a lit cigarette, but I thought it was worth a shot. I didn’t ask her to actually smoke for real, so I figured it would still slide. After she agreed to do the videos (she was actually looking forward to the project), I went ahead and purchased some Ultra-Light Menthol VS 100s for her. She would need them obviously for the one scene, but it was also a great way for me to get her to consistently pretend to smoke for me with real cigarettes now. I was nervous when giving them to her, cause I didn’t know what her reaction would be or if she would reject the idea of that particular video. Instead, she immediately opened up the pack and pretended to smoke with one. Let me tell you it was amazing.
Right now as I type this, the pack of cigarettes is sitting in her room with a fresh cigarette casually sitting on top of the opened box. Why? Because two nights ago we had sex while she held it between her fingers. I’m sure you can imagine; I don’t even need to say. It was a real breakthrough for me that I thought I would never see. Perhaps for some of you veterans, it is still Little League, but it was an accomplishment for me that I felt was worth sharing with others. And my video compilation will hopefully be finished by Christmas and I’ll have more stories to share about it. I can’t wait to see them. And I can’t wait to see what other smoking fetish adventures we will have together in the future. Maybe she will actually smoke for real for me, maybe she wont. Either way, she is doing more now than I ever imagined she would have if I hadn’t opened myself up to her. I’m so glad I did. And I recommend you do as well if you are in a similar situation. Maybe she’ll say no, but she will definitely say no if you don’t talk to her.

I’d love to hear your responses!

 

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