Two things:

1) Maybe, just maybe, could it be that the reason that you became so fascinated with smoking in the first place is because it is smelly, and toxic, and obviously dangerous? Regardless of what it happens to be, a "visual" turn on can only become a turn on because you associate the stimulus with something (or with multiple things) that you have come to attribute layers of personal significance and meaning . Why do you see a female smoker as a "bad girl" and "promiscuous?" Could it have anything to do with the fact that a female smoker is someone who is willing to Risk her health and longevity for sensual pleasure? Could that also be why you recognize that playing with an unlit cigarette, or with an unsmoked lit cigarette, is never going to be as completely satisfying as having your partner actually smoke one? ;)

2) To someone who has never learned how to deliberately inhale cigarette smoke (that is to say, to someone who has never forced her or his lungs to get used to the experience), cigarette smoke is pretty much universally repellent. But if you (and your partner) can fully get over your reservations about learning to smoke, once you open Pandora's Box and learn to condition your respiratory tract to accepting the experience, your sensory perception of cigarette smoke will change completely. Cigarette smoke will suddenly smell and taste very different, and for virtually anyone who is really open to discovering why smoking can be pleasurable, it will suddenly become very appealing in ways that you can't begin to imagine right now.

So here's the thing – you didn't ask for your Fetish, and I believe that for you, and for virtually anyone who feels compelled to read or post to this for-um [HYPHENATED DUE TO TEXT FILTER] that no amount of will or discipline will ever be able to rid you of your sexual attraction to smoking. You're stuck with it, as I'm sure you realize.

What you can decide is whether or not you are willing to trade off the maximum possibility for health and longevity for yourself and for your partner (and perhaps for future partners) for the maximum possibility for sexual pleasure and satisfaction. It's that simple, and also that gigantic. You and your partner can start smoking and fully punch ALL of your sexual buttons, or you can choose to leave the clasp on Pandora's Box undisturbed and settle for something less than maximum e-rotic [HYPHENATED DUE TO TEXT FILTER] pleasure.

The choice is up to you, and I wish you and your partner all the best with whatever you decide!

:)

V