Yes... I am similar… although my smoking has never been much of a social thing. Perhaps it's just that I'm a little older, but I smoke for myself. Misty is my lover and my friend. I really like the Misty ads, and I really like Misty.

Although I too have great affinity for Virginia Slims, I smoke Misty Menthol Lights 120s.

I used to crossdress when I was younger. I haven't had any desire to crossdress in many years now. I have virtually no sexual experience with "real" people. Although I never experienced any crossgender feelings until my early twenties, and was never a candidate for reassignment, I have always been very much like the transsexuals one hears about in the sense that I have always liked nature... animals... and staying close to home. I too occasionally have homosexual feelings, but my feelings are predominantly heterosexual. A male lesbian, if you will.

Others may give you different advice, but I wouldn't dress at work unless you're in a most unusual work environment. You'll probably be fired... I've seen that before. We're way too much in the minority... most people just see our crossdressing as a joke... or worse... and disruptive. And it will be... because most people will respond oddly to you. Most people will just not understand what you feel... or, at least, they don't seem to understand what I feel. Even a guy who smokes a women's brand of cigarette, like Mistys or Virginia Slims, is of a similar nature, although fortunately can be managed easier with some discretion. (Tell, if verbal sharing seems appropriate and safe... but, showing requires an even greater measure of safety and empathy than telling) Of course, I can't really comment on what you might do if you decide to follow the path of the transsexual and get reassignment.

What I'm saying is that it's great to be open, but it's kinda like blowing smoke in people's faces. There are some people who like having smoke blown in their face... I do not... but it's too easily mistaken. There are competing cultural frames of reference in which to put the behavior in perspective. Being transparent in telling others about yourself is great when appropriate and safe, but showing others about yourself is not always a great idea.

That's a concept the "straight" community has much difficulty with... For them, the consequences of telling, and usually showing, about themselves are usually not fraught with much concern... because they're very much so in the majority. Whereas, with you and I, it's much more complicated... remember the Golden Rule. Many "straights" just believe we lack integration, but what they don't seem to realize is that sometimes the consequences of telling, and frequently showing, others these aspects of our true self can have substantially negative consequences. Like being fired from your job...

Frequently "straights" don't even like to acknowledge this disparity... the more cultural signposts go your way, sort of speak, the more you're likely to want to believe things are just as they "should" be. If they do acknowledge disparities such as these, it usually becomes more difficult for them to bloat their self-esteem... so, they usually have resistance. Of what benefit is this realization to them?

It's the same thing with dressing up around people, like most "straights", who likely aren't going to understand my feelings... and will just respond in ways I'm not looking for. I'm a serious person for the most part... I have always been serious. But most people will just laugh if you crossdress. The transgendered community understands and perhaps you should seek them out... there are several organizations across the country which serve the transgendered community. I don't believe you're going to find the guidance you need amongst members of the "straight" community.

I'm not as psyched about all this as you are... perhaps that's just being older too. Our culture isn't set up to accommodate persons of the transgendered community... we're very much so in the minority. It's not too dissimilar to how it's becoming being a smoker. Also, there are increasingly competitive cultural frames of reference in which to put the behavior in perspective.

With someone such as myself, protection is the predominant concern. That may not be true with you. I'm more introverted and sensitive, whereas some people seem to have a tougher outer skin and perhaps are also more extroverted. These attributes of myself really don't have anything necessarily to do with my gender status.

So... I can answer your question as yes and no. Yes, there are others similar to you. If you seek out members of the transgendered community, you'll find many who are much more similar to yourself than I am. I am similar in that I have similar crossgender feelings as you have, but the kind of people you'll find mostly on these message boards... and in clubs and bars... are people who are more extroverted and outgoing. That's probably where our personalities would be largely dissimilar.

As Jung pointed out, to the extrovert the ways of the introvert are frequently mysterious... sometimes to the point of exasperation… and vice-versa from the introvert's perspective, as well. I believe it's usually the extroversion-introversion continuum that usually sets me apart on these smoking message boards. Where are most of the smokers today? Clubs and bars... and most of the people who frequent these smoking boards are, not surprisingly, more extroverted club and bar people.

So... I perhaps understand the crossgender feelings, but it's been my experience that the extroversion-introversion attribute is frequently more important. The difference on this continuum usually overwhelms any similarity I may have with others of the transgendered community. In other words, my gender status doesn't make as much difference as my status as being predominately introverted. I'm very open, but I'm not particularly outgoing. It sounds like you want to find people who are more extroverted and outgoing.

I don't think you're going to be satisfied with sitting at home and going for long walks in the woods with someone special... perhaps when you're older, but not yet. Whereas, being a homebody is the way I've always been.

As you can see, I'm usually not too convergent and exciting... I suspect you, and most of the people who visit these smoking boards want more excitement.