When I was done in the bathroom it was around 4:30. I was feeling a little queasy. I wasn’t sure if it was the wine or the cigarettes, but I decided to lie down on the couch in Staci’s office for a while. I kept playing the kiss from Melinda over and over in my mind as I lay there.
At about five I was feeling a little better and decided I better clean up before Staci got back. I put the Saratoga’s and Virginia Slims back in my desk drawer, cleaned up the mugs and wine. The bottle was empty and each mug had a little wine still in it. I thought about finishing the wine, then remembered how I had felt before and just dumped them in the sink. I emptied out the ashtrays and dumped the trash.
It was funny, but after masturbating, the thought of smoking somewhat repulsed me. Not just because I was sick. It always was like that, even before when I’d just do it to the magazine ads. Part of it was guilt, I think. Or maybe just once I got it out of my system, any desire or lust for smoking, or women smoking, left for a while. It was about 5:15 now, and the desire was returning. I wanted to have a cigarette before Staci got back. After all, as soon as she returned she’d be taking me home and I wouldn’t get to smoke until tomorrow.
I also was thinking of how Melinda said I looked like I was smoking correctly. That was one of the criteria I had given myself before waiting to smoke with Staci. I was considering letting Staci walk in on me smoking right now. The thought of it was starting to get to me, and I went to my desk and got out my Virginia Slims. The pack seemed about half-full. I sat at the desk and lit one up. Again, remembering the queasy feeling I had had a little while before, I took very small inhales.
As I sat there smoking I remembered the woman who had called just as Melinda had arrived. I decided to type up her questionnaire while I smoked and waited for Staci.
Every time I’d hear a car go by, my heart would race a little thinking that Staci would soon be walking in and see me sitting here smoking. I’d also think about stubbing it out quickly and running to flush it down the toilet. I didn’t though. I made up my mind that this would be it. I was determined not to chicken out.
I was halfway done with the questionnaire when I stubbed out the spent Virginia Slim. Still no Staci. I immediately lit up another one. By the time the questionnaire was done it was 5:30. I took the paper to Staci’s desk, keeping the Virginia Slim with me. I went back to the desk and finished the cigarette, still getting a little jumpy at every sound outside.
I waited until about ten to six before lighting a third cigarette. Still no Staci. I called home to see if Mom was there, but there was no answer. When this cigarette got down to the filter I chained a new one. The feeling of anticipation was leaving, replaced now with concern. Staci had drunk quite a bit of wine, and I was starting to hope she was okay. I was always a bit of a worrier. I didn’t even smoke all of this cigarette, tossing it, and the butts from my ashtray, into the toilet and flushing. I put the Virginia Slims back in the drawer, then went outside to wait. I was out there about 15 minutes when I saw her car coming down the street. I went to meet her in the parking lot.
“Did you lock yourself out?” she asked as she got out of the car. She seemed a little unhappy.
“No,” I said, “I was just waiting for you.”
“I’m sorry it took so long,” she said, making an attempt to smile, “I stopped off at a bar and had a few drinks. I hope you’re not mad.”
“Not at all. I had plenty to do here.”
I thought about asking her how the meeting with the lawyers went, but decided to let her bring it up if she wanted to.
I followed her into the building and stayed at my desk as she went into her office. She seemed a little off-balance as she walked.
“Did you call your mom and let her know you’d be late?” she called out to me.
“Yeah,” I replied as I went to the doorway of her office, “She said she was probably gonna go out for drinks after work anyway.”
“Cool,” she said as she went to the refrigerator and took out a bottle of her wine, “You’re not in a rush to get home, are ya? I just wanna have a glass of wine.”
“That’s fine.”
“Could you bring me my mug,” she said, “And get yours too.”
I went to get the mugs and brought them to her desk.
“Don’t let your mom know I’m letting you have wine, okay Honey,” she said with a wink as she filled our mugs.
“I was gonna say the same thing to you,’” I smiled at her.
She took her Virginia Slims from her purse, shook one so it was sticking half-way out of the pack and pulled it the rest of the way out with her teeth. I grabbed the lighter from her desk before she could, and held the flame to the end of her cigarette. She smiled at me with the Virginia Slim clenched in her teeth before puffing it to life. She took a hands free inhale, then exhaled the smoke towards me while keeping the cigarette in her teeth. I smiled back at her.
“Thank you, Honey,” she said, then noticed the form I had typed out on her desk, “What’s this?”
“A lady called interested in buying a house,” I told her.
“Cool,” she said a little sarcastically as she picked up the paper, “Maybe I could sell her mine.”
“So you have to sell it?”
“I’m afraid so,” she said, setting the paper down, then taking a sip of wine before adding, “Asshole.”
“I’m sorry,” I said, not knowing what else to add.
“It’s not your fault,” she smiled, “Do you think I should call back her now?”
“Probably,” I said, “Before she finds another realtor.”
“You’re right,” she said after a huge inhale.
She sat down at her desk and called the prospective client. She sounded very cheery as she arranged for the lady to stop by the office at one tomorrow afternoon. While she continued to talk with the woman I went out to my desk and wrote the appointment down on the calendar. She was hanging up as I came back into her office.
“So how did the Yellow Pages thing go?” she asked.
“Great,” I said, meaning it in more ways than one.
“Let’s sit on the couch with our wine and cigarette and you can tell me all about it.”
She walked to the couch, sat down, and kicked off her shoes.
“Come on,” she said as she patted the seat of the couch next to her, “And bring the ashtray.”
I emptied the ashtray on her desk and brought it to the couch, then sat down next to her. She took a puff, then flicked the ash as I held the ashtray in my lap.
“So I noticed the open bottle I had was gone,” she stated, “I guess she had some wine, huh?”
“Yeah,” I said, “Like four glasses.”
“Sounds like my kinda lady,” she chuckled, “I hope you got a good deal.”
She put the mug of wine into the same hand as her cigarette, tucked her legs under her, and put her now free arm on the back of the couch behind me. Her knees were brushing up against the side of my leg a little and I started getting a little hard. God, I hope she wouldn’t notice.
“I think I did,” I finally answered, “You’re going to have a half page add and she only charged me the quarter page price.”
“Are you serious?” she smiled, “Joey, that’s great!”
She gave me a little peck on the cheek.
“Yeah?” I asked modestly.
“For sure,” she beamed, “I should’ve sent you to talk to those dumb lawyers.”
“Well, she did have plenty of wine,” I said, trying to downplay my role.
“Bull sh*t, Hon,” she said, “You charmed her. That’s really great. A half page ad will really help.”
“Well, good,” I said.
She took a sip of wine, then awkwardly put the cigarette in her mouth with the hand holding the mug and inhaled deeply. She then put her other hand on my shoulder and gave me a little squeeze.
“You really are a godsend, Honey,” she said as she exhaled more smoke in my direction.
She then seemed to notice that I had left my mug of wine on her desk.
“Where’s your wine, Hon?”
“Oh,” I said, “I left it over there.”
“You don’t like it?”
“No,” I answered, “I do. I just forgot it.”
“Well go get it,” she said, nudging me a little, “You earned it today. Getting me a new client and a good deal all in the same day.”
I set the ashtray on the arm of the couch and got up and went to her desk. I picked up my mug and also grabbed her pack of Virginia Slims, then went back to take my seat next to her.
“Ooo, you brought me more ciggies too,” she said as she rested her arm on my shoulder again.
“I forgot your lighter,” I said as I started to get up again.
“That’s okay,” she said as she guided me with her arm to remain seated.
I set the Virginia Slims on the couch’s arm next to me and placed the ashtray back in my lap.
“Now that you’ve got your wine I can make a toast,” she said, holding up her mug with the hand still holding her half-smoked cigarette, “To Joey: The best damn secretary in the world.”
I was hesitant to tap my mug against hers as it looked like the ash was about to fall off. I did anyway, we said cheers, and the ash held. We then each took a sip, hers bigger than mine.
“Your ash is about to fall,” I said, deciding to mention it and relishing the idea of saying something smoking-related to her.
She looked at the ash and seemed to be thinking of how to get it in the ashtray while still holding her wine. I hoped this didn’t mean she’d use her other arm and take it off my shoulder.
“Will you take care of it for me, Honey?”
I hesitated a little.
“It’s okay,” she assured me, “Just be careful. I don’t want ash in my wine.”
Using my index and middle fingers, I gingerly removed the smoldering Virginia Slim from her index and middle fingers. I then slowly moved the cigarette over the ashtray, replaced my index finger with my thumb, then expertly tapped the cigarette with my index finger and the long ash dropped into the ashtray.
“Very good, Honey,” she said, squeezing me again, then taking a sip of wine.
I seriously considered taking a puff, but really hoped she suggest that instead. She didn’t, and I chickened out. I replaced the cigarette in her waiting fingers as she held them over her mug. She took a huge inhale and blew a stream of her smoke into my face.
“Really be honest with me, okay Hon?” she asked.
“Sure,” I said, still in a small cloud of smoke.
“You really don’t mind when I do that?”
“What?” I said, fully knowing what she meant.
“This,” she said, then took another inhale, smiled, then proceeded to blow more smoke in my face.
“I don’t mind it at all,” I said, “Honest. Those really do smell better than my mom’s. I like the smell.”
“That’s another good reason to have you work here. I can smoke all I want and it doesn’t bother you.”
“Yep,” I said, “It really is okay. It’s kinda nice, actually.”
“You’re so sweet,” she said, then gave me another peck on the cheek.
“It’s no big deal,” I was saying as she moved her face closer to me and put her lips to my ear.
“Staci’s ready for another ciggy, Honey,” she breathlessly whispered into my ear, “Will you help me light one?”
“Sure I will, “I said, finding it hard to get the words out.
“First,” she said, pulling away from my ear, “you have to flick my ash again.”
I repeated the same steps as before, flicking the ash. I started to hand the Virginia Slim back to her.
“You hold on to that,” she said, indicating the now-short cigarette between my fingers, “And get me a fresh one from the pack.”
I placed my mug on the end table, grabbed the pack and removed one of the all-white cigarettes with the same hand holding the smoldering one.
“Now put the fresh one in my mouth,” she said, then opened her lips a little.
I placed the filter of the new cigarette in her mouth and she clenched it in her teeth.
“Now,” she continued as she clenched the Virginia Slim in her teeth, “manicure the end of the ciggy you’re holding. Do you know what that means?”
“No,” I said, not having the foggiest idea of what she meant.
“Just softly roll the cherry- that’s the burning orange tip- in the bottom of the ashtray to get all of the ash off.”
I did what she said.
“Very good, Honey,” she said, “Now carefully put the cherry to the end of my ciggy. Be careful so that it doesn’t knock off.”
I did what she said, being careful not to press my end of the cigarette to hard against the end of hers. She started puffing and got it lit. She took a huge inhale.
“Now take it out of my mouth,” she said, keeping the smoke in her lings.
I put the original cigarette in my right hand and used my fingers spread in a “V” to remove the new cigarette from her teeth. She then exhaled into my face.
“Very nice, Hon,” she said while a few wisps of smoke trailed from her mouth, “Now stub out that little ciggy.”
I stubbed the cigarette out in the ashtray and picked up my mug.
“You did that very well, Joey,” she said as she lifted her mug, “That deserves another toast: To Joey, the best damn ciggy lighter in the world!”
I gave a little laugh at that, then we clicked our mugs together and each took a sip. She was watching me over her mug as she drank, so I took a bigger than normal sip.
“That was cool,” I told her, “Can we light your next ciggy that way?” “Sure we can, Hon,’” she smiled, then opened her fingers holding the mug into a “V” shape.
I placed the freshly lit Virginia Slim between her waiting fingers. She took another sip of wine and I did the same. She then moved the cigarette to her lips for a puff. Her coordination was waning, and she almost spilled her wine down the front of her blouse.
“Oops,” she giggled, then left her hand on front of her mouth and awkwardly leaned into the cigarette for a puff, “This isn’t gonna work anymore.”
“I could hold it for you if you like,” I said quickly as she started to lift her free hand off the back of my neck and shoulder.
“The wine or the ciggy?” she asked as she rested her arm behind me again.
“Either one,” I offered.
“Well I don’t want to turn you into a two-fisted drinker,” she said, then, noticing the confused look on my face, added, “Take the ciggy, Honey.”
I took the cigarette from her and flicked the ash.
“Are you ready for a puff?” I asked as I held the Virginia Slim between my fingers, trying to look as natural as possible.
“Honey,” she said with a sly smile, “I’m always ready.”
Holding the cigarette with my right hand, I reached across my body and placed the Virginia Slim between her lips. I parted my index and middle fingers slightly as she inhaled. When it seemed she had gotten her usual amount of smoke, I clasped my fingers around the filter, waited a second, then removed it from her mouth.
She then took a sip from the mug, closed her eyes, tilted her head back and exhaled up into the ceiling.
“You are truly my right hand man,” she said with her head still tilted back, “You timed that perfectly. How’s your wine?”
I took that as a hint, and had another sip before saying, “It’s very good.”
“Are you tipsy?” she asked.
“I don’t think so,” I answered.
I was trying to anticipate when she would need her next puff, and thought now was about right.
“Can I tell you a little secret?” she asked after I had given her another puff.
“Sure,” I told her, hoping that meant she would whisper in my ear again.
Thankfully, she leaned in and placed her lips right up against my left ear.
“I think I may be a teeny-weenie bit tipsy,” she whispered, her silly, yet sultry sounding words coming out with a huge amount of exhaled smoke.
I really had no idea of what to say to that, and give her another puff as she moved her mouth away from my ear. I then thought of something to say.
”Well,” I said as I held the Virginia Slim to her lips and parted my fingers, “It seems like you had a somewhat sh*tty day, so I think that you sort of deserve to get a little tipsy.”
It was the first time I had ever cussed in front of Staci, but I doubt she even noticed.
“It would’ve been a totally sh*tty day if it wasn’t for you, Honey,” she said as she brushed my right ear and hair a little with the hand she’d been resting behind me, “You’re responsible for the only good stuff that’s happened to me today. And I was so bitchy to you earlier. I’m sorry, Hon.”
“I totally had forgotten all about that,” I said truthfully.
“So you’re not mad that I’m a little tipsy? The Asshole always got mad at me whenever I’d get tipsy. He wasn’t any fun.”
“I can’t even tell,” I lied as I brought her half-smoked cigarette to her lips.
“You’re sweet,” she said after taking a puff, “Ya know what else made the asshole mad?”
“What?” I said as I flicked her ash.
“He got mad when I smoked,” she said with a mock-pout, “Not when we were dating. Nope, he actually seemed to like it then. But the minute we got married he made me quit. He said it made me look trashy.”
“Really,” I said, trying to imagine not wanting to see this beautiful woman smoking all the time.
“You don’t think I look trashy with my ciggies, do you Honey?”
“God no,” I said with true conviction.
“Really?”
“Can I tell you something?” I asked as I gave her another puff.
“Is it a secret?” she asked coyly as she exhaled through her nostrils, “I love secrets.”
“Sure,” I said.
“Mmm, good,” she grinned widely, “Whisper it in my ear.”
She turned her head and shook it little so that her hair moved behind her head. I put my lips up to her ear, brushing it slightly, just as she had done to me.
“I think you look very pretty with your Virginia Slims,” I whispered softly, then added, a little boldly, I might add, “And don’t ask if I really mean it; because I do.”
“You’re very sweet,” she smiled at me as she moved away, “Now let’s finish up our wine and have one last glass.”
We both drained our mugs, each one nearly empty anyway. I offered to refill our mugs and she agreed.
There were maybe three puffs left on her Virginia Slim, and this time, when I put it in her mouth, she bit down on the filter. I assumed that meant she wanted to keep it while I got the wine.
“Honey,” she said as I walked to the refrigerator, “You’re not gonna let your mom know I’m letting you have wine, okay?”
“Okay,” I answered, wondering if she had forgotten we’d talked about this earlier or if she was just reiterating it.
I refilled our mugs and went back to the couch. Staci was chaining a new cigarette as I got back to her. She held the hand without the cigarettes out to me for her mug. I wondered now if that meant she wasn’t going to sit here with her arm around me anymore.
“Hey,” I said as I handed her the mug and sat back down, “You said I’d get to light your next cigarette like before.”
“Sh*t,” she smiled, “I forgot. I’m sorry, Honey.”
She was now positioned with her right hand holding the mug with that arm resting on the back of the couch and her left hand holding the just-lit Virginia Slim aloft. She was still sitting with her legs curled up under her, but was now facing me better.
“That’s okay,” I said, “Maybe the next one.”
“We can do it now,” she smiled, then took a sip of wine, “Get me a new ciggy.”
“But you just lit that one,” I said.
“That’s okay,” she explained, “You can chain a ciggy off a fresh one.”
She hadn’t understood that I wasn’t worried that it couldn’t be done with a fresh cigarette, but that she would then have two cigarettes going at once. I was going to explain myself, then thought better of it.
“Come on,” she said as she handed me her lit Virginia Slim, “You take this one and give Staci a new one.”
I took the lit cigarette she was handing me (holding it expertly, of course,) and shook loose a new one from the pack. She parted her lips and leaned into me, indicating that I should place the filter in her mouth. I did just that, then manicured the cherry as she had instructed before. It was a little different lighting her cigarette with such a long one this time, but I managed to do it without any flaws. She inhaled deeply, removed the cigarette from her lips, and exhaled a long stream of smoke into my face.
I was waiting for her to tell me what to do with the Virginia Slim I was now holding, but she didn’t say a word.
“How’s your wine, Honey? Do you like it?”
“Yeah,” I answered, sort of holding the cigarette up, hoping she’d notice it, “I think I’m starting to get used to it. I liked the Margarita better though.”
“When have you ever had a Margarita?” she said.
“Well,” I said, confused, “I guess I’ve really never had one, but you let me have sips of yours at lunch yesterday. Remember?”
“That’s right,” she said, “You’re not gonna tell your mother about that, right?”
“No way,” I said, “It’s our secret.”
“Mmmm,” she smiled and closed her eyes, “I love secrets. Can I tell you a secret, Honey?”
“Sure,” I said.
I was starting to get a little worried about her, but concern was having to compete with arousal. At this point, she was acting so sexy, that arousal was winning easily.
She leaned towards me, and I towards her. She was practically pressing her lips to my ear.
“I think I may be a little tipsy, Honey. I hope its okay,” she whispered with a slight slur, “Now you tell me a secret.
I then moved my head and put my lips to her ear.
“I think it’s kinda sexy that you’re tipsy.”
“You’re a pretty neat kid,” she smiled as she leaned back, taking a puff, then a sip.
Not exactly what I was hoping for, but it was okay.
“Hey,” she said, now finally seeming to notice I was holding a lit cigarette while she had hers, “Are you smoking, Honey?”
“What?” I asked.
“Did I give you a cigarette?” she said, truly not having a clue.
“You had me light your cigarette with it,” I said, “I wasn’t sure what you wanted me to do with it.”
“That’s right,” she remembered, “I’m such a silly.”
“Should I put it out?”
“Nooo,” she said over-dramatically, “Don’t waste a ciggy. You look kinda cute holding it there. Just make sure you flick you ashes, Honey.”
The ash was a little long, so I did flick it into the ashtray.
“You do that so well,” she commented as she took a puff off of her cigarette.
“Thank you,” I said proudly, posing with my Virginia Slim a little.
“Have you ever smoked a cigarette before, Honey?” she asked.
I didn’t answer, trying to think of what I should say.
“It’s okay,” she said, “I won’t tell anyone. It’ll be our little secret.”
I was still trying to figure out what to say. Not because I was worried of what she’d say or do. I was just trying to figure out which answer would elicit the best scenario in her present condition.
“If you like,” she said, “You could whisper your response in my ear.”
I thought about it a little, then leaned in towards her and put my mouth to her ear.
“Yes,” I whispered.
“Yes, what?” she said when I pulled away.
I leaned back to her and put my lips to her ear again.
“Yes,” I whispered, “I’ve smoked before.”
“What a bad boy,” she said when I moved back again.
She then leaned into me and put her lips to my ear.
“Why don’t you take a puff off your ciggy, Honey. Just don’t tell your mom I’ve been corrupting you.”
She sat back and watched me with a naughty grin on her face. Now, after all this, I was really nervous about smoking in front of her. I hesitated.
“How ‘bout if I do it with you? Okay?” she whispered after putting her lips to my ear again.
“Okay,” I said, “I guess.”
“Don’t be nervous, Honey. On the count of three.”
She then counted to three. We lifted our cigarettes to our faces at “One;” put the filter in our mouths at “Two;” and took a puff just after she said “Three.”
I then had to make the decision of whether or not to inhale. In a split second I chose to inhale. Her’s was bigger than mine, but my inhale was still a pretty nice-sized one.
“Alright, Joey!” she cheered as I exhaled a nice stream of smoke, “Now take a sip of wine.”
My heart was racing. I was in heaven. I took a sip of wine, followed by another puff.
“You look so cute, Honey. Give Staci a hug.”
She held her arms open, and I wrapped my arms behind her back. As she held me, I exhaled the smoke into her hair.
“Do it again,” she said when we broke from our hug.
I took another inhale, this time exhaling into her face. That made her laugh; me sort of turning the tables on her. She took a puff of her own and blew her smoke back at me.
“You really know how to smoke, you sneak. Why didn’t you say something sooner?”
“I don’t know,” I said, not wanting to get into now.
“This really has made my day,” she said as she stood up, “This calls for another glass of wine.”
That didn’t sound like a good idea. I started to worry about how we were going to get home. She was really in no condition to drive. On the other hand, this was all that I had hoped for and I didn’t want it to end. I had a little devil on one shoulder and a little angel on the other.
“Are you sure?” the little angel had me ask. The little devil made sure I didn’t sound too convincing, though.
“Sure, I’m sure,” she said, as she stubbed out her cigarette and grabbed my mug.
“Finnish that up, Honey.” She said as she handed the mug back to me when she saw there was still a little wine in it.
I finished off the wine and gave the mug back to her. I took two final puffs from my cigarette and put it out.
“Oh,” she pouted when she came back with our wine, “You finished it.”
She handed me my mug, then sat next to me, tucking her legs underneath her with her knees resting on my leg again. She put her arm behind me again, and put her lips to my ear. I was really loving this whispering thing. She must’ve known what it was doing to me. She sounded so sexy. Maybe it was her way of being sexual with me without doing anything that really crossed the line. I wasn’t sure. At the moment, I didn’t care.
“Wanna have a ciggy with me, Honey?” she whispered.
“If it’s okay.” I said.
She took a huge sip of wine, then set the mug on the arm of the couch next to her. With her right arm still behind me, she used her left arm to reach across my body and grab the pack of Virginia Slims.
“Wait right here,” She whispered into my ear again.
She got up, grabbed the lighter from her desk, and resumed her previous position next to me. She then shook the pack until two filters were sticking out. She clenched her teeth around them and pulled two Virginia Slims from the pack. She reached across my body again to put he pack back on the arm of the couch, then brought the lighter to life. She made sure to evenly light both of the Virginia Slims in her mouth. She kept one clenched in her teeth and used her thumb and index finger to remove the other one. She placed that one into my waiting mouth and we both took a hands free drag. She kept hers in her mouth while I removed mine.
“Hang on a sec’, Hon’,” she said as she took the Virginia Slim from my hand and put it back in my mouth. She then reached across me and took the mug of wine I’d been holding in my right hand and put it on the end-table next to me. She then lifted up her right arm from behind me and lifted up my left arm. She ducked under my arm and nestled up against my side as I rested my hand on her left shoulder.
“Take a puff, Honey,” she said as she looked up at my face.
I took a puff, and when I was done inhaling she removed the Virginia Slim from my lips and flicked the ash into the ashtray which was resting on my lap. She held the cigarette for me to take with my right hand while she was taking another hands-free inhale off of her Virginia Slim. After I took my cigarette from her, she took her cigarette out of her mouth and flicked the ash. She grabbed her mug and settled in a little, making herself comfortable snuggled next to me.
“That’s better,” she said.
It was about seven ‘o clock, and with no lights on in the office and the sun setting on the other side of the building, it was pretty dim. I was hoping I wasn’t going to knock the ashtray off my lap. I was actually glad it was there, hiding the intense amount of joy I was feeling.
Now it was my turn to hold a cigarette and drink wine with the same hand. I managed by just setting the mug down while taking puffs. Staci, meanwhile, held her wine in her left hand and her Virginia Slim in her right.
We sat there like that, smoking and drinking, without saying a word. Every once in a while she would look up at me with a smile as I took a puff. I had stopped worrying about how we’d get home. I just wanted this moment to last as long as possible.
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