“Oh, my.” Joan said as she took the cigarettes from her daughter’s purse.

“What’s wrong, Mom?” Samantha asked.

Mrs. Telford lifted a strip of three foil wrapped condoms from the purse.

“Oh,” Samantha said. “I stopped by Eric’s apartment after work and, well,
we used one. I just didn’t tuck the others back into my purse too well.”

“Sam, I’m thrilled to see that you keep these ready for immediate use but
look at this purse.”

At this point Joan handed the full pack of cigarettes to her daughter who
wasted no time opening it and lighting one.

“Mom, what are you talking about?”, Samantha asked, the freshly lit
cigarette bouncing slightly in her lips as she spoke.

“Sam, you are too old for me to go through your purse but just looking in
here I can see a nail file, your car keys, two lighters and, well, I don’t know
what that thing is but it’s got sharp edges.”

“Mom, do you have a point here?”

“The point, dear daughter, is that all this hardware is rattling around with
your condoms! One little hole poked in one of them will let one little drop of
Eric’s semen go where it shouldn’t and the next thing you know I’m a
grandmother and I don’t want that at age 39.

“What do you suggest, Mom?” Samantha asked.

“Use your empty cigarette hard pack as a container for your condoms. You
can even slide one condom into your current pack once you take a few
cigarettes out.”

“Mom, thanks. I can’t believe I didn’t think of that.”

“Sam, you’re still a Marlboro Girl. You started with them, didn’t you?”

“Yes, the regular ones were my very first cigarette. Then I went to the
100’s. A lot of my friends in school at the time smoked lights but I never
got into them. I’ve tried other brands, Newport’s are really good but I keep
coming back to these. I’m still open to trying others. Just yesterday on
break Elisa Martinez gave me one of her More Menthols and I really liked
it.”

“I’m glad to see you’re still open to change and experimentation, Dear.”

At that point, Samantha double pumped her Marlboro, inhaled deeply and,
after retaining the smoke for several seconds, executed a long nostril
exhale. Any good mother knows her daughter’s body language and Joan had
come to know that this was something Samantha did when she was finding it
difficult to talk about something.

“Sam, what are you thinking about?”

“Mom, I really like smoking and yes, trying new brands is fun but do you think
it’s weird for me to consider how I look when I smoke? I mean, yesterday
when Elisa and I were smoking Mores outside at work I was wondering if I
looked OK with an all brown cigarette. It sure did taste good. And even
with these Marlboros, somehow I think I like the look of a cigarette with a
brown filter rather than one that’s all white. And, I guess you’d call it style,
I wonder if the way I smoke looks OK. I mean, well you see me, a lot of
times I keep the cigarette in my mouth like when I’m driving and I have to
get into a parking space.”

“I certainly don’t see anything weird here Sam but my mother’s intuition
tells me to ask who you think is concerned about how you look.”

Samantha had smoked her Marlboro down to within an inch of the filter
after which she crushed it out in an ashtray and lit another one.

“Mom, you’re going to think this is off the wall but I think Eric likes to see
me smoke.”

“Wow,” Joan replied. “No, I don’t think it’s off the wall but I’ve never
heard of it before. What makes you think so?”

“It’s a lot of little things.”

“Does he smoke too?” Joan interrupted.

“No, he doesn’t...never did.”

“Oh my, this is interesting but go ahead Sam.”

“Well, like today, when we got done we were cuddling and after about five
minutes I thought....just THOUGHT ‘I would love a cigarette right now.’
Well, Eric picked up my pack from the table next to the bed, took a
cigarette out, gave it to me and lit it for me!”

“Sounds like he’s quite the gentleman. And he didn’t mind your smoke being
that close to you?”

“No, he never does. While I smoked the cigarette he moved down and gave
me some really nice kisses below the neck, if you know what I mean....”

“Yes, Sam, I know what you mean. I do have the same body parts.”

“Mom, he is so good to me and I have a feeling about this smoking thing.
What can I do”?

“Well, first of all, you have to find out.”

“You mean, like, ask him?”

“No, I don’t think so. Give me a moment here. Sam, let’s assume he likes
your smoking but let’s do a comparison. Suppose you thought he liked seeing
you in tight jeans. Knowing you, I think you would go out and buy an new pair
of tight jeans and see what his reaction was.”

“Sure, Mom, but what does that have to do with my smoking?”

“Well, having assumed that he likes to see you smoke, why not smoke a new
cigarette brand, like maybe those Mores, and see if that elicits any
reaction?”

“Mom, you are awesome!”

“Getting back to the new jeans, would you perhaps wear them a bit lower for
extra emphasis?”

“Yes, I would but you just lost me on how this one connects to smoking.”

“You just mentioned your concern for how you look when you smoke. How do
you smoke around Eric?”

“Well, kind of dainty and lady like, I guess.”

“Maybe you should try the less dainty, driving the car style you just talked
about and see what he does.”

“My God, Mom. Dear Abby can retire! You are the greatest!”

“Samantha, Isn’t it amazing that as you get older I get smarter?”

“OK Mom, you got me with that one. But how about your final answer here.
If I don’t just come right out and ask him, what should I do?”

“You have to sneak up on him. You pick the time, place and the words but
give him your best pouty look and tell him how happy you are that he does
not object to your smoking. If that doesn’t break him I can’t tell you what
will.”

“Mom, I’m speechless.”

“This isn’t rocket science, Sam, and it doesn’t matter if it’s tight jeans or
cigarettes it’s how you go about using them to get answers.”

------
Joan Telford considered herself an intelligent woman with better than
average problem solving skills. She knew nothing of the smoking fetish
previously but would learn of it’s existence from this experience. She would
also help her daughter learn something about her boyfriend that would
greatly enhance their relationship.

Over the next hour or so Joan and Sam talked at length about what Sam’s
actions should be. Joan asked some very personal questions and Sam’s
honest answers helped them formulate a plan.

Please let us know if this story has been satisfactory. We are not writers.
One of us has good ideas and a creative imagination, the other lines the
words up as well as possible.