I am in total agreement with your desire to get all the cards on the table.I wouldn't blurt out, "I have a smoking fetish."
But I would tell her that her smoking turns you on and see where the conversation goes from there. I have had good results in the last three relationships I have been in regarding this.
The relationships failed, but the smoking part had nothing to do with it that I am aware of.
As for timing I would wait until I felt somewhat comfortable talking to her, but of course it is a somewhat an uncomfortable subject.
However of the many women I have told this to (and many are just friends) most seem fascinated by it more than anything.
But once women see how much it turns you on, and how much "control and power" they have over you sexually, I think they really dig that in general.
Full disclosure is the only way to go. Tell her she can make you her sex slave with her smoking. It may take a few conversations to get the idea across how much of your sexuality is linked to smoking. Tell her for sure, but also let her curiosity and other questions brew, and smile.
Also let her know you care about her and other normal sexual things like kissing etc etc... Just that the smoking takes it over the edge for you.
