Nobody will go near her house. Everyone knows that Laurie (The Sandwoman) is a Sleepy Smoker. She lives in a beautiful home with no husband, no children. She rarely leaves her home. And absolutely no person who knows about her will go near the house.

The Sandwoman smokes constantly. She’s 40 years old with a silvery blonde hairdo that’s recognizable for 100 meters it’s so sleepy smelling and super silky to look at. She has smoked since she was 12 and spends all her time perfecting the smoothest blow of smoke.

Trouble is, the blows are instantly mesmerizing, and the smell of the smoke puts anything that breathes to sleep. Sandwoman visited a florist recently and blew her smoke on several green potted plants. By the time she left the plants sagged out of the pot and were a flat lifeless green within an hour. (The shop owner didn’t see-his eyes were filled with Sandwoman’s mesmerizing sleepy smoke).

It’s a Wednesday afternoon and the new paper girl comes along. She’s a 12-year old on her first day-on-the-job. Her mom is driving her around today, eventually she’ll ride her bike. She’s just trying to get to know the route today.

Oh no! They stop in front of the Sandwoman’s home. They don’t know! They must be new in town. No neighbors around to warn them. The new paper girl is walking into a sleep trap. She walks to the front doorway and rings the bell.

Laurie answers the door and says: “Hi! Who are you?”

The little girl proudly answers: “I’m your new paper girl. My name is Teresa. I’m learning my route today.”

Sandwoman smiles euphorically and says: “I have your first payment in the kitchen Teresa.”

Teresa says: “Oh you don’t have to pay me today!”

Sandwoman walks to her to the kitchen pretending not to hear. Always smoking, Sandwoman lifts her cigarette from an ash tray on the kitchen table. Teresa turns her head to the right and notices several people wearing pajamas in the living room all sound asleep and curled up on two couches. A streak of blue smoke rests in the air above each couch.

Teresa is a little nervous and looks back toward Sandwoman. Sandwoman her return glance perfectly. Teresa is greeted with a face full of mink soft cigarette smoke. Teresa drops her newspaper and just stands there smelling the super soft smoke as it smothers her face. Laurie finishes her blow while glaring at Teresa making sure she’s received enough sleep.

Sandwoman is very satisfied with her sleepy application. A super heavy smooth sand! She lets Teresa just stand there to sniff away.

Meanwhile Sandwoman goes to her front doorway to wave Teresa’s mother into the sleep trap but doesn’t have to. Mom is at the doorway and says: “Is my daughter ready to go?”

Sandwoman stares at the mother with her soft baby blue eyes and inhales deeply on her cigarette then releases a plume of chalk blue-gray smoke into the mothers face. The mother just stands there taking it all in. She’s smothered…heavenly sleep surrounds her.

Sandwoman eases the mother inside her home and closes the door inhaling again and looking into the mothers eyes. She reaches out to lift her eyelids and then applies another luxurious blow right into the eyes. The blow is smoothly completed and Sandwoman drops mom’s heavy eyelids. The mother walks 10 feet then stumbles and falls to the floor. All she wants to do is sleep.