Before you take off with a woman who may not blend in with your culture and society, why don't you give your wife a chance to move more to the middle without explaining the entire situation. If she sees you looking at a smoking woman in a restaurant, she might take the hint and ask questions. I'm for saving the marriage. Don't assume you wife is unmoveable. Some people have been able to budge their wives without making such a mess of things. Holy cow, am I a marriage counselor.
