And bearing what I have suggested in mind, interesting re smoking mothers. Vilified now as "abusive" to their children, in actual fact the opposite may be true. Wrapping your child in too much cotton wool may actually damage them in the long run. In nature only the strong survive.
When I relate this to my own mother, waht she was doing was preparing me for a good mate. When I think of things she used to say to me (which thrill us to bits simply because of the way smoking has been demonised but actualy was pretty normal years ago) such as:
"come on, you are going to have to learn sometime" outstretched hand offering puff
"what are you going to do if you get a girlfriend that smokes?" whenever I chastised her for smoking as a child, followed by a demonstration of exagerated flirty smoking
"you like Cathy don't you? She smokes"
"I know you like girls who smoke you bad boy"And when finally I sucumbed to my mother's encoragement , she was proud. And thrilled when I started dating early and always to girls that smoked.
She sometimes moans that I haven't produced her grandchildren; but she is still very proud I have always had really stunning girlfriends.
Smoking was, and remains, part of sexual courtship for those daring enough to do it. I would argue my mother gave me a head start on other kids in the neighborhood. Because nothing makes a young lad more popular with the girls than a pack of cigarettes.
And the thing is I know she still sneakily likes the idea that I am atractive to women, and that as she often says still, I look sexy smoking.
Is she a bad mum? Absolutely not. I wanted for nothing as a child.There is omething seriously wrong with a society that would vilify her and other mothers to whom smoking is a completely normal behaviour.
