23 July 2010
Like Starting to Smoke All Over Again
SMOKE SIGNALS MAGAZINE - March-April 2010
It can seem so strange how we process and integrate traumatic events and change in our lives. It's been only a little more than three months since I was confronted with FSCs and the personal loss of commercially produced cigarettes, but it actually feels like years have passed for me in this short span of time.When we lose anything that is a substantial long term part of our everyday experience - a relationship, a job, a loved one - our lives change so fundamentally that we need to adjust to the newness of the absence in seemingly everything. That which was familiar becomes suddenly a little different, because we're suddenly a little different now. And in those moments of feeling slightly out of phase with our worlds, we can sometimes gain insights and a new perspective on the familiar. We can sometimes see little things that we had forgotten or didn't see before, feel things that we had forgotten or didn't feel before, and think about things that we had forgotten or didn't think about before. And since we're relearning our worlds in thousands of little ways, time dilates.